Ramblings about Maui

Hey, we're back from Maui. As promised, here is most of the story.

   The plan was to fly from Chicago to Vegas then on to Maui. Scheduled arrival about 9PM Friday night. Getting to Vegas was easy, getting to Maui was a nightmare.

   We left Vegas around 5PM mountain time and flew half way across the Pacific toward Maui. The pilot came on the intercom and tells us the plane has hydraulic problems and since we aren't quite half way to Maui, they are going to be safe and take us to Phoenix. Phoenix? Why Phoenix? If we can't go to Maui, why not be safe and take us to LAX or SFO? America West (now part of US Airways) decides it would be best for everyone if they take us to Phoenix where their main hub is, where their own hangars are and where their mechanics are. Hmmm. We are really thrilled. Then after 7 hours in the air going from Las Vegas to Phoenix (a 3 hour car drive), we get taken to a closed wing of the Phoenix airport. They knew we were coming to Phoenix for about 3 1/2 hours while we returned from the middle of the Pacific. When we landed at the closed terminal wing, they were well prepared with no open stores of any kind (midnight). warm bottles of drinking water, crackers and airline pillows and blankets. We were then told to sleep on the floor as all of the hotels were full due to NASCAR being in town. They also had everyone stand in line to book tickets on alternate flights. Since we were in the back of the airplane, we ended up in the back of the line. It took us two hours to find out we would be able to fly out the next day and arrive in Maui Saturday night. So much for our weekend in Maui.

   We call around and find out there are all kinds of hotels with space available. It seems America West just wanted everyone to sleep on the floor so they wouldn't get stuck with a bunch of hotel bills. Great. We go to the Days Inn. We are paying to stay at the Westin Spa and Resort in Maui and also paying to stay at the Days Inn in Phoenix. Great. Well, we at least got a bed for the night.

   The next plane works better and it gets us to Maui a day late but on time according to America West (via Honolulu). Now that we are there, we start looking for our luggage. Not there. We have been in our same clothes for two days, my wife Pam is pissed and since the America West 1-800 number is automated with no human interface, I get my wife's outlook on airlines. Things start looking up, I get my bag and my wife gets her bag, of shoes. Now it is Sunday and we have to come back to the airport again. We left Chicago at 3PM on Friday and are still at the airport in Maui on Sunday looking for the $2,000.00 worth of clothes Pam spent 2 months shopping for, to wear in Maui. Once Pam gets a human to talk to at the Maui airport, she listens to us for about a minute and says, "I haven't been talking to you people for 5 minutes and I am already sick of you." Now we feel really good. We fill out the luggage form and put down $2000.00 as the value. Now we have America West's attention. They find the bag once they know the value. The vacation is looking up. We are only three days into our trip and we now can haul our bags to the hotel and get our travel clothes off.

   The Westin valet staff deals with our bags and puts away our rental car. We are officially on vacation and have 4 days to enjoy Maui. We are only 3 days and $3,000.00 into our vacation so 4 days of peace sounds pretty good.

   Our first day is all exploration. We head up to a dirty little quaint town called Paia. We stop and have a great $50.00 breakfast with bloody Mary's and head for the mountains on the road to Hana. The drive is great, lots of waterfalls, sheer cliffs, one lane bridges and a tropical forest. The drive is 45 miles and takes about 3 hours. Once we get to Hana (the end of the road basically), there is nothing there. The beaches suck, the people live in fish shacks (not as nice as some on Mille Lacs Lake in Minnesota). We are disappointed. Now we have to go back down the road to Hana. I drive fast. Pam gets sea sick from the fast cornering and white knuckle cliff interfaces and makes me slow down. This pretty much kills day 4. We head back to Lihaina and have pina coladas, steak (to die for), crab legs, and marlin. The sunset is spectacular and the dinner bill is $180.00. It was worth it. It was so good we went back several times. The place is the Fish Company. Go there if in Maui.

   Maui basically has one main highway which runs around the perimeter of the island (with the mountains in the middle). It has lots of traffic and lots of traffic jams. Since the perimeter road runs along the beaches, most of the ocean sound is lost in the traffic hum. We blow past about 50 miles of dirty beaches that smell like urine, full of garbage, transients, cops on 4 wheelers, bicycles and cop cars. We head to the end of the road to "Big Beach" outside of Makena. The beach is beautiful. It has no cops, no garbage and no homeless people (too far to walk to town for them). The water is awesome. It is warm and crystal clear. The sand is to die for. Super clean and light gold in color. We hang there all day playing in the water. This is the place to go on Maui. We spend a lot of time here over the remainder of the trip. From the beach we catch a sunset cruise on the Maui Princess. We have prime rib and lots of Mai Tai's at the open bar. It is a great 3 hour cruise.

   The rest of the trip we swim, eat and shop. Everything is cool; but, we are not real impressed with the whole experience. The stores are all filled with stuff from Malaysia, China and Mexico. Hawaii basically has no craftsmanship at all. Everything is imported. There are a few artists and a few wood carvers but their stuff is overrated and over priced.

Everywhere we went we heard lawn mowers, weed wackers, trucks backing up (BEEP, BEEP, BEEP), road construction, new hotel construction, golf course construction. The place is a frigging work zone. The prices are rediculous, the natives don't really care for the tourists and the stores suck. They are all run by oriental women selling imported crap. Hawaii is all about the ocean. Unfortunately the end of April is not the time to use it. The whales are already further north in cooler water; but, you can't do any water sports before May 15th (the official end of whale season). The fishing is also real slow in the end of April and a full day fishing trip on a private boat runs about $1,250.00 per day for a nice boat.

  If you want to take a real island vacation, go to Tahiti, Bora Bora, Moorea, Cook Islands or Fiji. These south pacific islands have coral to die for, that is every color of the rainbow. These islands are probably a lot like Hawaii was 100 years ago (prior to corporate America taking over). Pamela and I loved our grass hut on the beach in Moorea ($250.00 for 10 days much more than the big hotel on Maui ($250.00 per day).

   Be smart, avoid Maui, they are under construction.

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